I have always loved the passage in Ecclesiastes that talks about seasons:
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
This passage is so beautiful in bringing a sense of order to our lives and reminding us that there is an appointed time for everything that happens. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the fact that life happens in seasons. Obviously, we experience the four seasons of summer, fall, winter, and spring (although this is debatable if you live here in Southeast Texas! J) We also experiences other kinds of seasons. We have seasons of contentment in which all seems to be right in our world. We go through seasons of change in which things don’t seem to be settled and life can be confusing. There are also seasons of heartache in which our world has been turned upside down and we feel like we are walking in darkness with no hope of every being in the light again. Then, there are seasons of hope and renewal in which things start to look up and we begin to live again.
I like to think that these seasons of our lives correlate perfectly with the seasons of the earth. Summer represents joy and contentment. Fall is a time of change and shifting, which can make us feel a little down and melancholy. Winter is cold and represents despair and darkness. Then, spring comes along and reminds us that there is life and that we are going to make it out of that cold, dark season. I love the way God set that up! Some of these seasons are a lot more fun than others. Some we would like to skip. It can often feel like God has abandoned us when hard things happen and life feels cold, dark, and lonely. I want to share a story with you and something God has been revealing to me recently about His presence in every season of my life.
The second semester of my senior year of high school was a rough one. My grandma, whom I was extremely close to, was diagnosed with cancer and went on Hospice care. She passed away in March of that year, two months before my graduation. Her death hit me extremely hard and I quickly entered into a season of depression, loneliness, grief, and hopelessness. I couldn’t imagine being truly okay again. The months went by and I started college that fall, only to have my uncle be placed on Hospice care and pass away that October. Needless to say, 2014 was a rough year for our family. The holidays approached and I dreaded them. Thanksgiving passed and it was okay, but the sadness remained. I was really not ready for Christmas without my grandma. I didn’t even want to think about her not being there. So, in the days leading up to December, I mentioned to my parents that I thought getting a puppy might help me. Surprisingly, they agreed. On December 2, 2014, a sweet, tiny little puppy came into our family. I immediately fell in love with her and named her Mabry, which was my grandma’s middle name. Over the next few days and weeks, my heart was filled with so much joy, comfort, and love. Every time I would get sad and start missing my grandma, I would just look at Mabry and be filled with joy again. I called her my “Christmas gift from heaven” and fully believed that God sent her to me specifically to tell me, “you’re going to be okay.” I was so thankful. Mabry quickly captured the hearts of everyone in my family. She brought all of us so much love, laughter, and comfort. She grew and developed such a funny personality. She was so very unique and you couldn’t help but love her! We even said that she took on some of the same character qualities that my grandma had, which made her even more special!
After I got Mabry, I felt like I was moving forward again, living again. I would think about graduating college and moving off to graduate school and think, “how will I ever leave my Mabry?” She was so very precious to me in helping me through my grief. Two years passed and we celebrated her second birthday and the second anniversary of the day she came into our family. She was a gift I thanked God for every day!
In April of 2017, Mabry began to have some stomach problems. We started having to take her to the vet frequently and she had to have several tests done. Everything always came back okay and they couldn’t figure out what the problem was. It wasn’t affecting her everyday life, so we didn’t think it was that big of a deal. In August, we left her with the vet while we went on vacation and he did some more testing. When we got back, we were told that Mabry had a rare form of leukemia and that there were not adequate treatment options. The future was very unknown and dogs could live a long time or a short time with this disease. Needless to say, I was heartbroken. She was my baby! The next few weeks were spent taking care of her as she began to decline. She lost her eyesight and became more and more fragile. It was the most heartbreaking thing to witness. I cherished every moment I had with her and prayed that God would somehow get me through what had become my worst fear, losing Mabry.
On September 7, we had to make the impossible decision to have Mabry put down. She was suffering too much and we couldn’t let that continue. I stayed with her to the very end and we gave her a special burial in the backyard. I immediately went back into a very dark season. I just couldn’t understand why God would take such a precious gift away from me so quickly. It did not seem fair and I was just heartbroken.
Through talking to some special, trusted friends, my family and I decided to get another dog. Not to replace Mabry because she could NEVER be replaced, but to be a blessing to another dog and allow them to help fill some of the emptiness in our hearts. Two weeks later, we adopted a sweet little rescue dog named Penny. We have had her for about two months now and she has grown in size and personality. She has become so comfortable with us and brings us love and laughter. She is definitely helping our hearts heal. I am extra thankful for her today because today would mark the third anniversary of Mabry coming into our family.
Penny’s actual birthday is unknown since she is a rescue, but they estimate that she was born in April. That was exactly when Mabry began having problems. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. It’s like God was already preparing to take care of me before I even knew what was going to happen. We adopted Penny on October 1, which would have been Mabry’s third birthday. Again, not a coincidence. Just God’s perfect timing.
I still don’t understand why God chose to take Mabry when He did. All I know is that He is sovereign and good. In EVERY season. God sent Mabry to me exactly when I needed her. Even with Mabry, it took me a long time to really become at peace with my grandma’s death. Maybe taking her was God’s way of telling me, “it’s okay. You don’t need her anymore. She has served her purpose and you really are going to be okay.” Still, He knew that I would need help in dealing with her loss. So, He sent Penny. She is so different than Mabry but I’m also starting to see lots of similarities. She is truly a blessing.
I hope this story helps remind you that God is in every season. He gives us what we need for each season and provides us a way to keep going. Then, every once in a while, He sends us a reminder that we are going to be okay. It may be a small, simple reminder, but powerful nonetheless. I would encourage you to look for those reminders and keep going, no matter what season you are in. He is there, and He loves us more than we will ever know.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time…”
Ecclesiastes 3:11
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